"DOC" Colton NMI Lassiter, (honorary.)

Colton NMI Lassiter, the stone cold professional killer for hire with steely grey eyes, pencil thin lips and a 29 inch waist holding up denims covering his bowed legs that match the rib cage of a large powerfully built stallion, was born dirt poor to destitute sharecropper parents near Richmond, Virginia. When he wasn't working the family's small poor dirt patch he attended the one room school house twelve miles down the winding, mountainous two rut rock strewn road under the tutelage of schoolmistress Ole spinster Abbie Titelage (on the few occassions she was sober and showed up) until he dropped out one third of the way through first grade. Since there were no general equivalancy degrees (GED) in those days you might say he was uneducated and without diploma. You would be wrong. Having survived the War of Northern Aggression as an insolent, undisciplined and insubordinant Confederate States Army (CSA) private he deserted and drifted to territories West of the Law seeking employment as a gun slinger for hire. Over time, he aquired more years of experience hoisting and strapping on a rig, slapping leather, drawing iron, thumbing back illegally weighted hammers and fingering feather weight triggers than room for notches on his Colt six shooter's handle. For this he was awarded a Ph.D.,(Honary) in Triggernometry with a minor in Shooterology from the University of I Don't Give a Damn,(UIDGD.) To celebrate he poured a large dram of Craigellachie 13, 46 ABV, 92% proof, matured in ex-bourbon and ex-sherry casks. Gunpowder flash bright yellow appearance. Nose of sulfer and phosphorous. First taste, crude gunpowder. Second taste, a cheap Chinese firecracker exploding in the mouth with the associated burn. Finish, wafting gunsmoke drifting over the shore of Lake Michigan on a cold Fourth of July evening. Thats a big Michigan Boom Baby. Slainte, Tommy Maaltman