Proper straw hat protocol for a second wedding deemphasizing Catholicism

Lassiter, the steely gray eyed killer for hire arrived at the wedding wearing, not his usual black 100X beaver pelt hat, but a custom made Sing straw hat. After all it was summer and nearly 100 degrees Fahrenheit. He was escorted to his seat minutes before the bride walked down the aisle. Upon sitting he removed his straw hat from his head and balanced it on his right knee where it remained during the entire ceremony. Being a second wedding, the niceties of the Catholic ritual were minimized and the ceremony was short and to the point. She said, "Yes," he said "Yes," and it was over. At the conclusion of the ceremony Lassiter reached into his black leather vest pocket and pulled out a sterling silver flask initialed "C NMI L" containing Oban "Little Bay of Caves" Double Matured West Highland Single Malt Whisky Special Release OD 160.FX Limited Edition 43%alc./vol., with a briney sweet nose, floral first taste, honey and clover second taste and long lasting, enduring, and candied "all is well" finish. As the bride and groom walked out, Lassiter gracefully stood and with his experienced gun drawing right hand and arm expertly placed his Sing straw hat on his head, pivoted into the aisle and exited the ceremony. Not staying for the reception he speedily made his way home where Inge, his smoking hot Swedish wife, was waiting. Slainte, Tommy Maaltman.

"DOC" Colton NMI Lassiter, (honorary.)

Colton NMI Lassiter, the stone cold professional killer for hire with steely grey eyes, pencil thin lips and a 29 inch waist holding up denims covering his bowed legs that match the rib cage of a large powerfully built stallion, was born dirt poor to destitute sharecropper parents near Richmond, Virginia. When he wasn't working the family's small poor dirt patch he attended the one room school house twelve miles down the winding, mountainous two rut rock strewn road under the tutelage of schoolmistress Ole spinster Abbie Titelage (on the few occassions she was sober and showed up) until he dropped out one third of the way through first grade. Since there were no general equivalancy degrees (GED) in those days you might say he was uneducated and without diploma. You would be wrong. Having survived the War of Northern Aggression as an insolent, undisciplined and insubordinant Confederate States Army (CSA) private he deserted and drifted to territories West of the Law seeking employment as a gun slinger for hire. Over time, he aquired more years of experience hoisting and strapping on a rig, slapping leather, drawing iron, thumbing back illegally weighted hammers and fingering feather weight triggers than room for notches on his Colt six shooter's handle. For this he was awarded a Ph.D.,(Honary) in Triggernometry with a minor in Shooterology from the University of I Don't Give a Damn,(UIDGD.) To celebrate he poured a large dram of Craigellachie 13, 46 ABV, 92% proof, matured in ex-bourbon and ex-sherry casks. Gunpowder flash bright yellow appearance. Nose of sulfer and phosphorous. First taste, crude gunpowder. Second taste, a cheap Chinese firecracker exploding in the mouth with the associated burn. Finish, wafting gunsmoke drifting over the shore of Lake Michigan on a cold Fourth of July evening. Thats a big Michigan Boom Baby. Slainte, Tommy Maaltman