Tommy Maaltman's Wild, Wild West Range Wars.

Lassiter saw the clouds of war forming as he walked down the street towards The Hole in the Wall Saloon but since he wasn't getting paid to take sides he ignored the two groups of heavily armed men approaching each other from different directions. The year was 1893 and the Johnson County Range War between the cattle rustlers and the ranch owners was raging with bullet riddled dead bodies turning up all over the valley. Knowing it would be unhealthy to remain outside in the next few minutes, Lassiter walked into the saloon and up to Gums, the unshaven, toothless barkeep, and ordered a bottle of Caperdonich cask strength single malt whisky, a glass, and a small jug of water and sat down at a small round table facing the street. Seconds later the dusty street erupted in an hailstorm of gunfire. All the patrons, drunks, derelicts, and desperadoes in the saloon dove for cover except Lassiter who felt like a steam locomotive going full speed slammed into his chest knocking him off his chair and forcing his lifeless body eight feet back into the wall of the saloon. As the dust settled all the patrons of the saloon gathered around Lassiter's motionless body thinking how ironic it was that he, a stone cold, lone gunman, killer for hire, was killed by a random stray bullet fired in an unrelated fight. Suddenly , Sally, the attractive, young, highly educated school marm from back East who shortly learned she could make more money in one night at the Saloon than an entire year teaching frontier bastards at the single room school house, screamed, when she saw Lassiter slowly stand up, brush the dust off his black leather clothes and reach into his shirt pocket and pull out a copy of the Bible with a deeply embedded 45 caliber slug. Lassiter sat down at the table and finished his dram of Caperdonich, 48.6%, 38 year old cask strength single malt whisky with a ginger ale dark brownish gold color, nail polish remover nose, Florida orange grove blossom taste, and sweet orange blossom finish and said, "Momma was right when she gave me this Bible and said, Son, this Bible will save your life someday." Slainte, Tommy Maaltman