In Tommy Maaltman's Wild, Wild West, a star is born.

Maaltmen, Y'all've heard of "Love at first sight." Well that is exactly what happened that cold, dank, dark, damp night in the barn behind the Flea Bag Boarding House wreaking of urine soaked straw, wet equine hair and mule dung where inside Minerva met Jimmy. The next morning nobody said nothing to no one but Jimmy and Minerva walked over to the Justice of the Peace Office in the dusty, dirty, forgotten town of .....Forgotten. Upon entering, they saw Justice Wheeler passed out with his head down on the old oak desk sleeping off a wicked drunk. After sobering him up with black coffee and hard tack, Jimmy asked, "Can you hitch us?" Justice Wheeler said, "In these parts, West of the Law, I can do anything for a small fee." Of course there was no family present since Jimmy's was killed and scalped in a Nez Perce Injun massacre. We all know that Minerva's mother died working her fingers to the bone back East cleaning toilets for rich folk trying to make enough money to keep the family together after Lassiter walked out on them. Speaking of Lassiter, Minerva's father, he was rumored to be in the Territory of Arizona settling the score between wealthy cattle ranchers and the dirt poor sheep herders. Gums, the unshaven, toothless bar keep who had become Jimmy's father figure ever since the night Jimmy got drunk and tried to make a name for himself by confronting Lassiter in the Hole in the Wall Saloon and ending up having both of his clavicles broken rendering his arms and hands useless for the better part of six months and Kitty, the rough ridden and put away wet lady of the evening with a soft spot in her heart for runaway homeless girls, served as the witnesses. After finally getting their names right, Justice Wheeler, pronounced Jimmy and Minerva, Man and Wife, in the year of our Lord, 1883. There was no time for a honeymoon. Both immediately returned to work. Jimmy as a Dung Boy shoveling out the stables at the local livery with aspirations of becoming a Knacker, one who slaughters old dying horses and removes dead horses to the yards where their carcasses are cut up for commercial purpose such as being sold for meat to fine dining establishments like Molly's Eatery. Minerva found work at Ho Ho's, the illegal Chinese immigrant's laundry and restaurant. The pay was good, 3 cents an hour, 12 hours a day, 7 days a week and Ho Ho, unlike most of the Chinese, was not cruel and abusive. That evening they did celebrate with a dram of Glen Rothes 29 year old cask strength single malt Scotch whisky, 50.3% 100.6 proof, with a straw yellow color,peaches and barley sugary nose, vanilla, bubble gum and leather tobacco pouch taste, and a light tingly finish. Nine months to the day later, 'Lil' Madeline was born. Slainte, Tommy Maaltman