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Tommy Maaltman Blogging

Tommy Maaltman Blogging
Tommy Maaltman Blogging

Sunday, May 8, 2011

In Tommy Maaltman's Wild, Wild West, Lassiter invents Mother's Day.

After settling the Pleasant Valley War, life pretty much returned to normal in those parts. Cattle ranchers allowed their cattle to roam free, indiscriminately, disregarding grazing rights and local land borders and the sheep herders continued to allow their sheep to graze the grass right down to the roots rendering the land useless and prone to erosion for years to come. But the cattle and sheep profits continued to roll in making for some very wealthy Arizonians. It didn't make no difference to Lassiter, having been paid very well by the now deceased Roy Castleman, as he made plans to head back home. With no pressing jobs, Lassiter decided to do some sight seeing on the return journey. He had heard several scouts talk about a grand canyon, bigger than anyone had ever seen before, a little north of the trail home, but it was rumored that the local Injuns were on the warpath. Lassiter wasn't prejudiced and didn't make it a habit to discriminate. He pretty much hated everybody equally, so an encounter with half starved, half crazed, theivin Injuns didn't bother him too much. He thought that if the opportunity arose, perhaps he would put a few of them out of their misery. The only downside was that it would be a gratis job. Before leaving town, he helped himself to some of the finest bottles of cask strength single malt Scotch whisky the Silverthorn Saloon had to offer and carefully packed them in his bed roll tied securely behind his saddle. He mounted Blaze and slowly left Tombstone, Arizona heading for the Grand Canyon. After several days on the trail, Lassiter came to the South Rim of the Grand Canyon. Indeed, the canyon, the result of forty million years of Colorado River erosion was spectacular. It was getting dark, so Lassiter decide to make camp. He unsaddled ,watered and fed Blaze and made a small cooking fire and settled down for the evening. After dinner he poured himself a dram of Mortlach single malt cask strength Scotch whisky, 58.9% alc/vol., 107.8 proof with a bronze color, velvety scorched heather nose, sugary expresso taste, and a gingerbread finish. With a belly full of pork and beans, and the warm sensation of cask strength alcohol coursing through his veins, Lassiter leaned back against his saddle and looked up to the sky and saw a magnificent array of twinkling and shooting stars. He was overcome by emotion and feeling a bit sentimental he poured himself another dram. Looking up to the sky he said, "This one's for you Mama," thinking to himself, everyone should honor their mother at least once a year. Little did Lassiter know that thirty years later in 1910, Mother's Day would become a Hallmark Holiday. Slainte, Tommy Maaltman

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