Lassiter invents Preventive Health Care.

Doc looked into the steely gray cold eyes of Lassiter the lone gunman, professional killer for hire, and said, "What can I do you for?" Lassiter replied, "I'd like a physical examination." Doc pulled out a bell shaped listening device known as a stethoscope and auscultated Lassiter's lungs and stone cold black hardened heart. He then percussed and palpated his abdomen. When it was time for the digital rectal exam (DRE) Lassiter said "Whoa Doc, ain't no man goes where the sun don't shine. That's enough for one day. So what's your prognosis?" A. T. Still said, "There ain't nothin wrong with you Mr. Lassiter, you're as fit as a fiddle. What's the secret to your good health?" Lassiter said, "Clean livin' I guess." Doc said, "Well whatever it is, keep it up and do more of it. That and good genes are God's blessings." Lassiter didn't think it was a good idea to build and smoke more filterless cigarettes but did think he could consume more cask strength single malt Scotch whisky and made a mental note to do so. As for good genes, if Doc only knew that Pa died of a massive coronary at the age of 42 when he found out that his three older boys moved to New York City and joined the Army of Northern Aggression. Ma at age 37 died six months later of a broken heart. So much for good genes he thought. To be continued.....Slainte, Tommy Maaltman. [Note: This is the second entry written in Ye Olde Knife in the Kidney Tavern.]