Professor Tommy Maaltman's Anatomy 101 Class.

"Good morning class. Good morning Professor Maaltman. Today we are going to discuss the anatomy of the human tongue. To start, draw a large U on your note paper. Oh I'm sorry I forgot you don't carry note paper or pencils anymore. Well anyway this would represent the human tongue. Now the tongue has many purposes, (nervous giggles are heard throughout the auditorium) but we are going to concentrate on the sensation, perception, and experience of taste, one of the five senses humans possess. Taste and smell are the result of chemoreceptors and go hand in hand and when we taste we are mostly smelling. The tongue provides us with four tastes, sweet, sour, salt, and bitter. We taste sweet from the tip of our tongue. On the side of our tongue we taste salt. Sour is tasted on either side of the rear of our tongue. Bitter is tasted at the base of the tongue. Class, with your imaginary colored pencils label your imaginary diagram of the human tongue on your note paper with the various areas of taste. Our little friends the taste buds, (almost 9000 of them,) are responsible for sending nerve impulses to the brain after coming in contact with the foodstuffs. The center of the tongue is relatively devoid of taste buds which is why to experience taste to the fullest you must roll the substance around over the surface of the tongue. Now tonight's assignment, (groans erupt from the auditorium,) will involve putting what we learned today in the classroom to practical use. Pour a dram of Laphroaig 10 year old, cask strength, 57.3 vol., gold color, tarry nose, seaweed and salt taste with a briny finish and compare it to a Glenmorangie 18 year old, 43% pale yellow gold appearance, overwhelming sweet nose, fruity taste and floral finish employing your new anatomical knowledge to your tasting experience. And don't forget to nose! " Before the Professor could say, "class dismissed," there was a stampede of students from the lecture hall. Later that evening the Professor put his feet up and relaxed with the assignment drams and sighed to himself, "Isn't tenure great!" Slainte, Tommy Maaltman