Tommy Maaltman's Wild, Wild West Lassiter shows his soft side.

Colton Lassiter walked in to the overcrowded Hole in the Wall Saloon on a "payday Saturday night." Squeezing into a small opening at the bar he asked Gums, the toothless, unshaven barkeep for a bottle of his best cask strength single malt Scotch whisky. As he was waiting for his whisky he couldn't help but overhear two drifters giving Kate, the lady of the evening better known as "The Ugly" by the locals ever since getting drunk one night, passing out with her head too close to the kerosene lamp, catching her hair on fire and hideously burning her face, but not her smoking hot body, a hard time. Curly, a forty something low life drifter with stringy black straight greasy hair and a long greasy, dirty food stained moustache covering both of his lips looked at Kate and said, "Whoa, who beat you up side the head with the ugly stick?" His good for nothing, horribly small pox scared face, side kick named "Moon Craters" snickered as a small tear formed in the corner of Kate's eye and made it's way down the hideously burned surface of her scarred cheek. "Yeah Curly," Moon Crater said, "It looks like her face melted! Lucky for her the rest of her body wasn't affected or else she'd be as useless as a tit on a boar and unemployed like us!" Ha, ha, ha, he, he, he the two no goods chuckled to themselves. Lassiter was in the process of building himself a smoke but couldn't take it nomore. As he faced the drifters he said, "Pardon my intrusion gents, but that is a human being you're talking about, one with feelings. I must say your two pusses ain't much to look at neither. But I think I can hep yuh." Lassiter stood up and grabbed both of them from behind their heads and forcefully slammed their faces together crushing most of their facial bones, knocking out their remaining rotten teeth, and flattening their noses like pancakes. He then grabbed them by their shirt collars, walked them to the swinging doors of the Hole in the Wall Saloon and threw them out into the dirty, dusty street of the forgotten town of.....Forgotten. When they landed on their faces, neither realized how lucky they were to be alive. Lassiter walked back to the bar and sat down next to Kate where a bottle of Linkwood cask strength single malt Scotch whisky, 57.7 vol. 100.9 proof with a dark straw color, sweet, fruity nose, creamy, chocolaty, fruity and peppery taste and a complex malt and fruit finish, was waiting. He poured two glasses and handed one to Kate. As the melancholic Kate savored her dram, she could feel her body begin to warm up and her self esteem return. Upon finishing the whisky, she looked up into the steely gray, stone cold eyes of the lone gunman, killer for hire and said, "Thank you Colton." Slainte, Tommy Maaltman