Tommy Maaltman goes to Krakow, Poland and has a brief fling with Aqua Vitae's Eastern European cousin Vodka

Tommy Maaltman is a non discriminating, equal opportunity, affirmative action imbiber of spirits. So, I was excited to sample numerous expressions of Vodka while visiting Krakow, Poland with the traveling Bros, i.e., the Maaltmen. The dreary ovecast sky, depressed economy , worst health care system in Europe, Zombie like expressionless people, close proximity to Auschwitz, lasting effects of Communism, and Poland's history of being mercilessly crushed by uber powers, i.e., Naziism and Bolshivism made for some downer days. But fortunately after a day of sightseeing the boys returned to our Bed and Breakfast, The CrakowHouse, to lift our spirits with spirits. While in Poland you drink, what else?, Vodka! Pronounced, Wodka. Attention tommymaaltman.blogspot.com followers (another shameless plug) forget about Grey Goose, Belvedere, Absolute, Ketel One, etc., etc., etc. For 30 Zlotych (10 US Dollars) you can get 750 ml of Sobieski, named after the famous Polish King and war hero of the Seige of Vienna. Never mind descriptive adjectives such as peaty, smoky, phenol, floral and fruity. Vodka smells and tastes like rubbing alcohol. Add the adjective smooth, and you are good to go. I liked it and so far I haven't gone blind!!! Slainte, Tommy Maaltman

Tommy Maaltman, Lesbians and a smoky Speyside!

Tommy Maaltman poses two significant questions: 1) Are all female motorcyclists lesbians? 2) Are all Speyside single malt Scotch whiskies sweet, fruity and floral? The answer is, I don't know and no. There is one Speyside Scotch single malt whisky that, believe it or not, was made to have a strong smoke and peat flavor that challenges those whiskies that are made in Islay. When the Maaltmen visited the BenRiach Distillery in Longmorn, Elgin, Morayshire in The Speyside Region of Scotland, Distillery Manager, Stewart Buchanon introduced us to the BenRiach Curiositas 40 vol. with a straw color, sooty peat and smoke nose, big soot and smoke taste that ignites in your mouth, and wet ash and peat finish. So jump on your motorcycles ladies and buy your man, er partner? A bottle of this anomaly. Slainte, Tommy Maaltman.

Tommy Maaltman speaks out on the unemployed and the homeless.

Sadly, it's true, one of the Maaltmen, Ricky, is unemployed and homeless. In these times of uncertainty, poor political leadership, civil unrest and financial crisis, rest assured Maaltmen that as long as Tommy Maaltman and the tommymaaltmanblogspot.com exists (shameless plug) I will provide a fine cask strength Scotch single malt dram to those in need. My philosophy simply stated is "If you are unemployed and homeless you might as well be drunk.". So here's to you Ricky, a dram of Caperdonach 46.8 vol. 38 year old Speyside, (no longer available,) with a dark gold color, nail polish remover nose, sweet floral orange blossom taste and smooth mellow worry free finish. Slainte, Tommy Maaltman

Tommy Maaltman goes to a Stag Party.

As I was watching President O'Bama on the television the other night, Tommy's better half, sweet Jilli said, "Tommy come here into the living room quickly." Thinking the old gal was feeling amourous I leaped from my seat where I was watching the TV and ran into the living room only to be told by Jilli, "Look out the window." To my surprise I saw a ten point buck being challenged by four or five six point, four point and button bucks, i.e., a bachelor or stag party. What a beautiful sight! But not as beautiful as the twelve point stag engraved on every bottle of Dalmore Scotch Single Malt Whisky. Legend has it that in 1263 King Alexander The III was hunting in Scotland and was nearly gored to death by a stag. An Archer of Clan MacKenzie saved the King's life with an expertly placed arrow through the animal's heart. Out of gratitude, the King granted the clan the right to have a Royal Stag's Head in their coat of arms. Every bottle of Dalmore Scotch Single Malt Whisky produced in this Speyside Distillery is adorned with the proud example of a twelve point stag. See for yourself. Purchase a Dalmore 21 43.0% with a deep amber color, caramel nose, chocolate, toffee, spice and dried fruit flavor, and a piercing fruit, pepper, and floral finish. A dram to slay for. Slainte, Tommy Maaltman

Tommy gets serious and starts training for Jackson Hole.

As many of you know, The Maaltman goes to Jackson Hole in January. Serious training starts today. No, I'm not worried about the sub zero temperatures made worse by the gale force winds, the blinding white out haunticain blizzards resulting in disorientation and mountain madness, the high altitude oxygen deprived thin cardiac squeezing air producing altitude sickness with severe migraine cephalgia and insomnia or the hazardous , ungroomed mountain terrain with hidden obstacles capable of causing great bodily harm or sudden death. I'm training for the inevitable constant badgering, challenging, positioning and questioning of the Maaltman's knowledge that anyone on a pedestal expects. Granted my pedestal is the size of a grain of sand with eight followers of tommymaaltman.blogspot.com. I never the less take it seriously especially now with two documented responses. To meet the challenge, I pledge to taste two expressions of Scoth Single Malt Whisky every night leading up to the event and make extensive tasting notes. In deference to my liver and the fact that I have a family and a job, the tastings will be limited to "mini drams," 12.5 mls (one half the normal volume of Her Majesty's Royal Dram in the United Kingdom.) Let's start with a mini dram of Rosebank 12 year old Floral and Fauna 47 vol. with a limey yellow color, camomile nose, sweet floral taste and mint imperials finish and a mini dram of Rosebank 1981, Bottled 1997, Cask Strength Limited Bottling, 63.9 vol with a lemony yellow color, seductive aromatic nose, soft and smooth taste, and a faintly smoky finish. Two a days take a lot of hard work, concentration, dedication and commitment. That's what I'm all about. Slainte, Tommy Maaltman.

Rick Rossi goes to New York City and blows it.....again!

After sweet Jilli personally secured tickets to the Mike Huckabee Show for Rick Rossi to attend, The Italian Stallion sat in the audience like a bump on a log and failed to ask either former Arkansas Govenor and failed presidential candidate Mike Huckabee or disgraced impeached former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich a relevant or poignant question! Granted he was competing for the host's attention with a packed audience of seven other people but The Maaltman would have handled the situation differently. Given the opportunity, I would have said, "Former disgraced and impeached Governor Blogo, what dram of Scotch Single Malt Whisky did you choose at the moment you realized you were being taped by the FBI throwing around the " F" bomb trying to hawk former Senator O'Bama's seat to the highest bidder? And heavyweight former governor of Arkansas and failed presidential candidate Mike Huckabee, " What dram of Scotch Single Malt Whisky did you choose the moment you realized that after successfully undergoing bariatric surgery your appetite was so big that you were able to overeat the gastrointestinal bypass and actually gain 30-50 pounds!?!?" Well we will never know but I might suggest to the gents a dram of Glen Mhor, 22 year old 61 vol with a shimmery illusive old gold color, fraudulently fresh mint and herbal nose, deceivingly light syrupy taste and coverup leaf and grassy finish. P.S. Apparently The Maaltman has been spelling Christyn Rosi's name wrong forever. Oops. Mea culpable. Slainte, Tommy Maaltman

Tommy Maaltman has a great idea and helps mankind.

Last time I checked, smoking was bad for your health so the thought of treating chronically and teminally ill patients with medical marijuana seems a bit incongruous. On the other hand, booze in moderation is good for your heart. Tommy Maaltman had a "light bulb moment." Why not start Scotch Single Malt Whisky Medical clinics for the chronic and terminally ill patient? You know, patients suffering from terminal cancer, chronic fatigue syndrome, irritable bowel syndrome, sprained ankles, stuff like that. I could easily train health care providers to professionally screen for appropriate patients and to weed out the malingerers. With Electronic Medical Records (EMR) the health care provider wouldn't even have to touch the patient or be in the the same room for that matter. For example, how about this for the chronically constipated patient, a dram of Coal Ila 12 year old vol. 43 with a soothing Vintro verde color, soft juniper nose, medicinal body and a healing and nutritious finish. Now that will get things going. And remember, Primum non nocere, first do no harm. Slainte, Tommy Maaltman