Tommy "Louis L'Amour" Maaltman's Lassiter returns to The Hole in The Wall Saloon.

The feared lone gunman of Tommy Maaltman's Wild Wild West,named Lassiter, dressed all in dusty black leather, dismounted his steed Blaze after a day's worth of riding in the purple sage and stiffly kicked in the swinging doors of The Hole in The Wall Saloon. As he entered, the raucous crowd became deathly silent, the piano player stopped pounding the keys and the high pitched cackling laughter of the bar maids/ladies of the evening abruptly stopped. Lassiter's reputation preceded him by about two territories. When Lassiter turned to the toothless barkeep named Gums and with a desert parched voice croaked , "gimme a dram of your best cask strength single malt Scotch whisky," no one sniggered. Slowly, the derelicts and desperadoes cautiously approached the bar with their hands in clear view. Finally a brain damaged man named Lefty, paralyzed on one side after being kicked in the head by a mule said, "Mister, mind if we join ya?" Lassiter staring straight ahead, said to no one in particular, "Its still a free country, ain't it?" Gums carefully poured several drams of Lagavulin 12 year old Cask strength Special Release 57.8 vol. Blinded by habitually drinking methanol, Blackie "Lights Out" McGee blurted out, "What color is it?" All agreed to an unusual pale straw color made cloudy with the addition of a drop of water. Lefty said, "I may be teeched in the head but it smells like a gentle smoke." The man known as "The Gambler" dressed in a fine black suit, Homberg hat, and a rattle snake skull Bolo tie took a sip and said, " It tastes like digestive biscuits and Assam tea." The pock scar marked five day stubble of a bearded faced man with the jagged scar running down his right check disfiguring his grimacing mouth drained his dram and as he wiped his chin with his filthy grimy hand said, "It has a smoky, peaty, slightly fruity warm finish." Naturally it didn't show on Lassiter's face, but deep down inside, his cold, hard heart swelled a little bit with pride knowing that just maybe this impromptu single malt Scotch whisky tasting might in some small way improve the hideous lives of these wretched, worthless dregs of society and just maybe they would cultivate the experience of tasting fine expressions of Scotch single malt whisky and leave the mind deranging, liver putrefying, rot gut whiskey and rye alone. Lassiter slammed down two pieces of gold on the bar. Turning to walk out he said, "Gents, the drams are on me," knowing full well that he wasted his time, whisky, and money and thinking to himself, the men were lucky he left them alive! Slainte, partners, Tommy "Louis L'Amour" Maaltman